Take A Trip Spliff

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for choosing Fly by Night airways
I hope you enjoy your flight
Please fasten your seat belts as we will be shortly taking off
Uh, please pay attention to the following on board safety procedures
Uhm, number one: open your mind
Number two: uh, leave your problems at home
If you however bring them on board you will crash
I repeat, you will crash
So a message from me the captain: enjoy the trip
And if you need anything don't hesitate to ask

Ladies and gentlemen we'll soon be approaching maximum altitude so kick back, relax
Everything is under control
And uh, we'll slowly be landing soon after that